There’s too much to do,
Too much to think about.
I just want to be nothing, disappear,
But I can’t.
I have to keep going,
Push through, deal with it.
My mind is an endless swirl of anxiety, sadness, emptiness,
I feel numb. I feel hollow. I want to scream in frustration.
Eventually I crack, run away from all the problems,
Curl into a ball and sleep, cry.
The problems grow,
I face away, letting them build up.
The world goes silent,
I’m empty, I am ash.
My world has crumbled around me,
The walls I built have come crashing down.
They are ash, dust. I don’t care, I won’t.
I am still not free, I’m a bird trapped in its cage.
I want freedom, to fly away – to be the child I should be able to be.
Don’t I deserve it? Don’t we deserve it?
What is this all for, these years of school, these late nights, breakdowns, stress and anxiety?
They don’t count, it’s only those last few hours, those last exams are a measure of all our knowledge.
That is when I will be released from my cage.
I have years left, three years until I can fly away from all of this.
How many more times will I burn up before I am released?
I don’t know how I can hope when all is worthless,
Everything is ash.
Have strength, have hope,
That is what I need to do.
To survive through this I need a plan,
If I stay like this I’ll blow away, waste away.
Then I will be whole no longer, a person no more,
Existing with no purpose, no hopes, no dreams, no passion.
That is the worst place to be.
No, I will not live like that.
I need to face my future,
Who am I, what path am I destined to take?
I need to discover myself.
I shape my future, my life, these are my choices,
I can’t let myself burn up.
The only way to find my true dream is to take risks, try new things â€“ rise up.
I am a phoenix, and I shall rise from the ashes.
My life is a story waiting to be told, I am ready for the world.
I just hope the world is ready for me.